To Cancel or Keep Score: When Marriage Just Doesn't Make Sense
Author: Sara Ellwood
Category: Relationships
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Many married couples eventually discover that it takes work to keep the marriage strong. A man and a woman who get married will find that things change after the wedding, and change even more when children come along. Unfortunately, not all marriages are successful. There are many factors which contribute to divorce: financial problems; differences in background; and third party interference to name a few.
Sometimes one partner feels pressured financially and this creates frustration, which leads to constant arguments. Couples who come from extremely different backgrounds may find that they ultimately share different values. Over time, this could cause strain on a marriage that could cause the couple to go their separate ways. Third party interference can be a major problem in marriages. This could come in the form of meddlesome family members, or the dreaded extra marital affair. Many couples keep score against each other, tallying up how many times their partner made a mistake.
Agreeing to a divorce is not an easy decision for anyone to make. Divorces can be painful, devastating experiences. Some couples therefore seek counseling from pastors, therapists, relatives or friends in an effort to solve differences which might exist in the marriage. There are those situations, however, where one or both individuals decide that they want to cancel the marriage contract. Some of these couples usually try separation before taking the decision to file for divorce. Separation allows each partner some time away to give them clarity in thinking and making the right decision.
The effects which a divorce might have on the children must also be considered. It is natural for couples to try to put off divorce for the sake of the children. Ironically though, there are situations where bad marriages cause the children almost irreversible trauma and the correct solution would actually be to get a divorce 'for the sake of the children.'
One party cannot decide that the marriage can work. This must be agreed to by both parties. When one partner in the marriage decides that the marriage must end, there is usually nothing that the other can do but sign the papers.
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Date Submitted: 1/19/2010
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